WOW this is soooo weird! I honestly never thought this day would come but I’m actually making my blog public!!! I know I know I’m nervous. I mean this site contains my feelings/thoughts from over the years and although i’m an open book when it comes to my life it’s still nerve racking to show deeper into my life. I’ve never actually shown this to people other than like Nathaniel but whatever though. if what I feel/felt or been through helps somebody else then so be it.
which brings me to my next topic, I know my life has been easier than most. I don’t like crying over spilt milk which is why most of the time I would just keep to myself about my problems but it’s not healthy. yes, i’ve been super blessed with an amazing family and friends and a lot of people have much worst things happen to them but my life isn’t perfect, far from it. there may be some posts that are a bit of surprise to some people who didn’t know buuuut this is all of me so take it or leave it lol also some of these posts are old so things have changed people. what I was feeling a few months ago may not be what i’m feeling now so hang with me lol this blog is literally where I post my happy times, my tough times and everything in between. i’m a human just like you. I cry, I hurt, I laugh, I have bad days but I get through it. But I also know that some people need a push to keep going and that’s what i’m here for. to be there for people who need someone to keep them going that extra mile.
I use to always want to be referred to as that girl who never stopped smiling or that girl who was always happy and to be honest with you, I WAS that girl for a long time. but life happens ya know and I finally realized its okay to be sad sometimes. I realized that I didn’t need to always help people find happiness but better yet help them find their self worth or help them fight a battle they’re losing, just be there for people in need of a hand. I realized I didn’t have to cry alone in my room at night so no one knows i’m upset. you don’t have to put on a smile for the world and you don’t have to hide who you truly are or what you’re feeling from the world and well that was also me for a long time. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was going through or that I was struggling because I felt ashamed and I guess sometimes even a little bit of a disappointment. despite having so much to be happy for and so much to be proud of myself for I kept feeling so empty and out of place.
yes, I AM still that happy girl but life has been a little bit tough on me. I haven’t always been confident in myself and to be quite honest with you I’ve had some of the lowest self esteem everrrrr. i’m wayyy too hard on myself and sometimes it’s hard to get myself out of bed. especially when you don’t believe you’re good enough but i’m growing guys! i’m finally working on self love and motivating myself and pushing myself to my goals. I want nothing more than to share it with the world because I know there’s thousands of other girls who are going through the same thing and if I’m of any help at all to anyone then that makes me ten times happier!!!! when I help people I feel more alive! It’s my fuel in life lol not to be dramatic or anything.
but to bring this to an end, this is me. the good, the bad, and the ugly. join me on this journey called life. I truly believe God put me on this earth to help people and I want to fulfill that calling. if you’ve ever asked me in the past what success looked like, I would have always said that success to me is finding your true happiness in life whatever that may be and to be honest with you I still kinda find that true. I never wanted to be rich and famous or drive a fancy car (although that would be nice lol) but I just wanted to be happy. making other people happy brings me happiness and I love the feeling of making someone feel better. I’ve always been that positive ball of energy in people’s life and I’ll continue to be just that but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have my off days too. it’s just so much better to look at the brighter side of things than to mope around about all that’s going wrong. i’m just like you and we’ll get through it. anyway, sorry about rambling on lol enjoy my blog loves, stay a while! remember you are worth it! stay amazing!
-xoxobri.
Briannatan11 