Hello everyone!
I decided in today’s post I wanted to talk about what I want to pursue in life. Stay with me though, this may be a long one, but it has definitely been a long journey. If you tuned into the “something new” blog I posted a few weeks ago, I originally decided to create that post because that’s what I want to do in life. I want to save people from themselves, but more specifically; I want to become a mental health counselor. Specifically, I want to become a children’s counselor, but I love helping ALL people in general. Although my passion to help others has always been consistent in my life, it wasn’t always so obvious how I was able to make an impact on others, MY way. It has taken many late nights of thinking about the future and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life in order to figure out that this is what my passion has been all along. It’s been a long journey, and it’s definitely not an easy one, but I’m glad I’ve finally got the ball rolling. I’m proud to say (arguably) I’m half way there!
To start off, I completed the Associates of Arts degree at Tarrant County College, May of 2019. When I first started college, I wanted to become a pediatrician, and I wanted that to be my way of helping children. However, I quickly came to realize, I am NOT medical school material. I’m sure if I applied myself more, I may have had more success. However, as I continued to research the career, I realized I’m just generally not interested in the hardships. That’s just how it is, and I’m okay with that! I give huge props to anyone who decides to go to medical school and stay dedicated to their goals.
So, for the longest time I wanted to be a pediatrician, which is why I based my schedule around STEM courses. It wasn’t until I took my first Anatomy and Physiology course (and bombed it) that I decided I may want to rethink my plans. My husband had suggested becoming a vocational nurse, but again I had bombed a very important class (A&P) and retaking it just wasn’t something I wanted to do. If you know me, then you know that bombing this course took a serious toll on me. I beat myself up for days thinking about how I failed myself. Let it be clear though, it was indeed completely my fault. I just wasn’t dedicated to my studies and didn’t feel motivated, or interested in the work. I slacked off and I’m also a HUGE procrastinator. (Anyone relate?)
Moving on, my dream goal was also to enroll into TCU, but it’s also extremely expensive, soooo I think it’s obvious why I decided not to attend there. If you don’t have a scholarship, or some type of exceptional aid, then I don’t know how you would do it. For a while, I was devastated at the reality that I wasn’t able to attend my dream school. I started beating myself up about it. Convincing myself that I wasn’t good enough, and if I tried harder I could’ve been able to attend. This was around the time that I bombed my A&P course, and wasn’t exactly doing too hot in my other classes. So I was having a really rough time and that summer (the summer of 2018 to be exact) was a really low time for me. I was so overwhelmed and felt useless. I didn’t know what I was doing. I even thought about dropping out and starting a small business, which goes to show how little direction I had at the time. Inevitably, that also fell through as well, because again I wasn’t dedicated and didn’t have the motivation to do anything.
Eventually, my husband sat me down one night and we just talked, and talked, and talked for hours about what I was going to do. I needed to get moving, because at this point I was only enrolled in one class and I didn’t feel like continuing any further than that. He said he would support me even if I made the decision to drop out, but that he truly believed I could keep going. The one class I was enrolled in at the time was Child Psychology and man did that class really change everything for me. I had decided to take this class because it involved two things I loved, children and psychology. When I signed up for the class I didn’t think I would learn as much as I did. When the semester concluded, I gained so much from the class that I felt like a new person. This was when the lightbulb finally turned on. No matter what I tried to work towards, it always lead right back to the same thing. HELPING CHILDREN. So my husband and I researched so many jobs that had to do with helping children in some way, shape, or form. I came across a Child Life Specialist and it genuinely peaked my interest. The only thing that stopped me from fully going with it, is that I didn’t think I could emotionally handle it. Looking back on it today, although emotionally challenging, I do think I would have loved it.
For a while, I was working as a substitute teacher, and that quickly got old. It just wasn’t fulfilling for me and I wasn’t really ‘helping’ children. February of 2019, I applied for a job at the Child Development Center for Crowley ISD and I loved it in every way. That’s currently my place of employment, but I’m now the Lead Teacher in the Toddler classroom and those children truly have my heart. This job has gave me even more motivation to keep working towards my goals because I truly love helping children learn and grow. Working at this job kind of peaked my interest to become a teacher (for grade school) but I decided that just wasn’t enough for me. Fast forward a little bit, I enrolled into Tarleton the Fall of 2019 and I’m currently working towards completing the Child and Family Studies Bachelor’s degree. I chose this degree because I’ve always enjoyed working with children and helping them learn and grow. I’ve also had an interest in the various way’s children develop based off of their upbringing. After completing my bachelor’s degree, I would like to pursue my Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with Tarleton as well. I have this passion where I want to help every child I come across, in whichever way possible. I want to work with children and their families to help them better their lives. I’m striving to complete these degrees so I can do my part in contributing to the mental health counseling movement, while also touching the lives of children in a positive way, wherever I go. I want to be able to confidently say that I had an impact on generations, and generations to come.
My plans are to start out with a mental health hospital/clinic, and then to hopefully begin private practice. Even though it feels unrealistic, I wish to offer my services for free, or extremely affordable. I may not be benefiting from the income, but I know there will be tons of children and families that will gain so much from it because of the affordability. I have no desire to become a counselor for the title or social status, but rather I desire to save people’s lives who struggle with the challenges that life brings. This degree will prepare me to go out and apply this in my community, and that is ultimately what I desire. Lastly, another one of my goals is to become a mental health counselor who is provided by a school system. There are so many silent kids who sit in classrooms, desperate for a helping hand, or an ear to listen to their frustrations. Although, many of those children don’t have an accessible professional who is trained in dealing with such situations. Having myself, or other mental health counselors accessible in schools could possibly save or change many lives. I am eager to become a counselor who may become a psychological crutch for many people who find themselves in despair. To put it simply, I believe it’s more than a “career goal” of mine, but rather a life goal. I know that the road often times get tough but we have to keep pushing through if we are ever going to become the person we want to be! So I ask of you, what are you striving for? Who do you truly want to be in life? If you haven’t figured it out yet, I encourage you to do some soul searching. Find your passion and what makes you happy. I want you to follow your dreams, because once you finally do you begin to understand your meaning in life. It all becomes clear and you get this sense of relief and excitement. I believe in you. Do you believe in yourself?
-Lots of Love, B.
Briannatan11 